Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Good Reason To Vape #5: Zombies

We all know that the Zombie Apocalypse is coming. It’s inevitable. The dead shall rise and walk the earth looking like so many graphic anti-smoking images. And they shall devour the flesh of the living.

And as the dead rise, civilization shall fall, taking with it all the comforts that civilization brings… like running water, and showers.

As people struggle to survive they will face, not only the walking dead, but also the stench of their own unwashed selves… a stench sure to attract zombies eager to dine on living flesh… But gather a dozen or so survivors, each armed with a mechanical mod and a dripping atomizer, and the scent of unwashed flesh can be masked with the aroma of vanilla custard… or gummy bears… or well, as long as you aren’t vaping meat-liquid it won’t matter what it smells like, because zombies have no interest in baked goods, or candy, or fruit, or, well, anything other than flesh. Faced with the smell of sweet vapory goodness the zombies are sure to turn their attention to.

But what to do if zombies are closing in and you’re in an enclosed space? What if there is no where to run and they are going to get close enough to see you? Quite simply, you blow massive clouds and hide unseen in the resulting fog of vapor.

Please note, the above mentioned strategies do not work so well on the living. Using the smell of vapor to confuse your wife or kids, or hiding from them in a cloud of vapor has proven to be wholly ineffective!

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